Thursday, September 19, 2013

The Trek West: Prologue

You might be wondering how one survives two days (as in 12-14 hours each day) of driving with 4 children, one of whom is a newborn baby.

1.  The newborn is the easiest.  The car seat puts her to sleep.
2.  Make sure the older kids are addicted to computer screens (movies, games, etc.)
3.  In the months leading up to the trip, limit screen time to 2 hours per day, which they have to earn by doing housework.  Expect lots of whining and crying, but keep in mind the torture is worth it: once the trip begins, the addicts think they've died and gone to heaven with unlimited access to the laptop/iPad.  Just make sure there are enough screens to go around.
4.  You need to love something that you hardly ever get to do, but can be done while in the car in-between tossing snacks and DVDs to children (in my case, reading). 
5.  CRUCIAL: You need to hit a huge pothole during your turn driving so your spouse would prefer to do all the driving himself rather than let you take the wheel again.

If you are unable to meet those 5 requirements, do not attempt the journey.  Skype or bite the bullet and buy airplane tickets.

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