One of my friends taught me the "Is it kind, is it true, is it necessary?" test at a YW's presidency meeting a while ago when we were trying to get the YW to say nicer things to each other. For months I've been trying with little (maybe no) success to get my kids to apply the test to the things they say. Take this morning for example.
"Mom," says Anne at the breakfast table, "I don't like the way you look."
This came as a surprise. I had some make-up on and was wearing church clothes that, according to the magic mirror on my bathroom wall, made me look 10 lbs lighter. Ah, I remembered, my hair.
"Well, I haven't done my hair yet. I'll look better when my hair's done."
"No," said Anne. "I don't like your shirt."
Hmmm. OK. Well, I'm nursing and not quite back to my pre-pregnancy size, so my options are limited. But I'd brought up my hair. Big mistake. My hair is Claire's pet peeve and she jumped right in.
"You need to grow your hair so it's long and curly instead of short and ugly."
Sheesh. It's a good thing I was born with an extraordinary amount of self-esteem. But maybe not everyone Claire comes into contact with was, so I started the lecture I've repeated at least 20 times in the past year: "Just because you think" (heavy emphasis on 'you think') "something is true, you shouldn't say it if it isn't kind or necessary."
Some day the lesson will sink in, right? Otherwise, Heaven help the people my girls tell the truth to.
2 comments:
I vote you BEST blog on the www.
Your writing is awesome!
You were born with self esteem ? I didn't think any female was. Lucky you!
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