Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Rare recorded dialogue between the Tooth Fairy and her Assistant

[Can't Damon and Anne just give me a nice normal smile?

He lost his top right front tooth. You might notice that the permanant tooth is already half-way in. Damon doesn't pull his teeth out. He let's them come out on they're own. That's how much he hates pain. Or maybe his lame Tooth Fairy doesn't give him enough incentive.]

Tooth Fairy: "How much to we pay for teeth? Fifty cents?"

Assitant: "I don't know. Should we give him a dollar?"

Tooth Fairy, after checking wallets: "We don't have a dollar."

Assistant: "I saw one in the other room."

Tooth Fairy: "That's his dollar. Your parents sent it to him."

Assistant: "So? He won't know the difference."

Tooth Fairy: "You want to give him his own dollar for his tooth."

Assistant: "Yeah. Why not?"

Tooth Fairy: "Well...we'll pay him back, so I guess it doesn't matter..."

Assitant: "Why would we pay him back? He'll never know."

He was kidding. Of course we'll pay him back. As soon as we get a dollar.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The world is too much with us...

and I can't decide if it's funny or disturbing. A week or two ago Anne woke up, beautified herself with a hat, bracelet, her favorite mismatched socks (with blue masking tape around one for extra beauty), and a washcloth tied around her leg. It was cute, so I got out the camera to take a picture, and she strikes a pose. She's three years old, people. And MY (I'm the person children sometimes mistake for a boy) daughter.

I've been letting the kids watch those old Scooby-Doo reruns: maybe Daphne is a bad influence. Or maybe it's the Kohl's ads: I didn't think she was studying the models because she always fixated on the jewelry pages, but maybe she was. I'll have to ban both.
Now check out this:
Unlike Claire and Damon, who only care about comfort, Anne doesn't wear things unless she likes the way they look. Even though we practically live in the arctic circle, she's been wearing purple water shoes because the hand-me-downs from Damon weren't 'beautiful enough.' So I finally decided I'd better take her shoe shopping. Naturally, the only shoes she was interested in were those ones up there, which, because they weren't already gaudy enough, also light up. Going anywhere with her is like walking next to a fireworks display.