Before kindergarten every day, I remind Claire what she has to do to earn her after-school treat. Last week it was "be polite and raise your hand to answer questions at least three times."
Claire: "I'll just raise my middle finger." Then she demonstrated by giving me the flipper [edited-for-TV version of The Matrix, anyone? That's my favorite scene, after all the ones with gratuitous violence, of course].
Me: "Well, that's considered rude. Better raise your hand."
Clare: "I'll just raise all five fingers, then."
Me: "That's a good idea. Now, you're zebra-stripe pants look a little wild with your polka-dot shirt, 'cause it's brown and your pants are black and white. We should change one of them. Should I get your brown pants or your shirt with the zebra on it?"
Claire: "But the stripes are white and the polka-dots are white. I want them to match!" (getting a little upset)
Me: "OK, I won't make you change if you don't want to. Are you sure you want to wear this?"
And I decided to be happy that she at least wouldn't be flipping off the teacher. Gotta choose your battles.