a white gal's perspective

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

         ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future.

        ~Jeffry R. Holland

 

A few weeks ago, while Claire was at her Simply the Best program (where she works on gross motor skills like throwing, riding a bike, etc.), I drove with Anne and Julia over to the mall to pick up some curtain rods I'd ordered. 

 

To get to the pick-up area I had to drive through a group of 5-7 teenage boys who looked like they were up to no good.  I made a point to make eye contact and smile at the ones who had to step out of the way so I could drive past.  (I have this theory that if you smile and make eye contact with people, they'll be less likely to rob you or beat you up--you know, assert your humanity and remind them of theirs.  If this is a bad theory, please let me know before I get myself killed.)

 

I parked the car and was about to get the girls out, when two of those boys, now about 20 yards away, started punching each other.  One kid threw the other down on the snow-packed parking lot and was kicking him in the stomach.  Naturally, there's only one thing a mother can do in a situation like this.  Start yelling.

 

"STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!  IF YOU DON'T STOP I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!  STOP IT!  I'M CALLING THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!"  I hollered as I fumbled for my cell phone.

 

They stopped, but then the one who had been winning the fight started calling the other one the n-word.  This startled me because the good fighter looked like he was part black, and the not-so-good-fighter was definitely white.  I live in a bubble and my experience with the n-word is limited to

*novels like Huckleberry Finn and Roots

*the overpass in my hometown where the high school's two white supremacists spray-painted it in an attempt to intimidate the town's one black man, who never seemed to get intimidated 

*the movie Rush Hour.

According to Ocean's Eleven, the good fighter should have been calling the other kid 'cracker,' rather than the n-word.  Obviously he was very angry.  My guess is he was throwing out the ugliest word he could think of.  But I don't know.  Unlike Paula Dean, I grew up in the 80s and 90s where that word was not used by decent, educated people.

 

Startled or not, more yelling was required.  "KNOCK IT OFF!  THAT'S ENOUGH!  KNOCK IT OFF!"  And the boys went inside, where they could call each other (and me, probably) ugly names in peace.

 

My question isn't 'What is the correct way to use the n-word?'  We all know is should be left in the ash heap of history.  Nor am I asking 'Why do boys so often resort to violence while their friends stand by and watch?'  Rather, I want know 1. Why did none of those kids have coats on?  It was 20 degrees outside and  2.  Why, at 5:15 on a school night were those boys not at home doing homework, or at their after-school job, or participating in some positive extra-curricular activity?  I have to think that MLK Jr. assumed that in the future, children, regardless of color, would be developing worthwhile characters.  I'm not sure those boys are, and I blame their parents.  I'd like to take them by the shoulders, shake them, and yell (because I'm good at that), "You are raising human beings!  It's important!  Give them something better to do than beat each other up on a school night in freezing weather!" 

 

I'll have to add those boys to my nightly prayers.  Maybe you should, too.  I'm sure their Heavenly Parents will help them if their earthly parents won't.