Last semester Claire had her tutor Joseph going to school with her 3 days a week. This semester, her tutors' class schedules have not been as accomadating. Jessie is able to go with her Tuesday and Thursday, and since our consultant (Steve) says Claire isn't ready to have less help at school, I go with her on Mondays while Anne goes to our neighbor's house to play.
Yesterday was my first day. Wow, was I depressed after the first half-hour. Claire acted like she was partially deaf or maybe on drugs. Apparently her classmates and teachers were used to it: her friend Cecily took her by the hand and took her where she was supposed to go (Claire almost never responded to instructions on her own) and the music teacher said, "Thanks, Cecily, for helping Claire." !!!!! Claire is perfectly capable of doing what she's asked to do--she does it all the time at home. I've got to read some books by people with Asperger's so I can understand what it is about being in large groups that shuts them down. Or maybe it's just Claire. I don't know. Does anyone know?! Tell me! Gah!
On top of that, Claire's personality was totally absent. At home she laughs at jokes and silliness all the time. At school, I didn't see a single smile. The teacher read this poem to the class:
I made myself a snowball
Just as perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me
I gave it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then, last night it ran away,
But first . . . .it wet the bed!
The other kids were cracking up and yelling out, "It didn't run away, it melted!" Claire stared straight ahead with a blank expression on her face. I was ready to cry.
After school we got in the van, picked up Anne, and went to the grocery store. And back came the Claire I know, laughing and talking...I read her that snowball poem at home, and she giggled. "Did the snowball really wet the bed?" I asked. "No, it melted," Claire said.
When we got home I remembered a suggestion Steve made at our workshop last week, and today Jessie put it in action: whenever Claire does what she's told to do at the same speed the other kids are doing it, she gets a sticker. If she earns 5 stickers in one day, she gets to go to the toy store after school and pick out a prize. Lo and behold, it worked! Here she is with her new toy, Squishy:
Now we increase the number of stickers she has to earn before she gets a prize until it gets to be a habit and she doesn't need rewards anymore. One thing that worries me is she doesn't have a tutor on Wednesdays and Fridays. We'll have to be even more blessed and lucky than we already are to get her to listen and obey on those days. What we need is a tutor with her every day at school...we'll see how things go, and if she's not progressing, we'll just have to find a tutor for those other two days.
I don't know how we'll get her to be the giggly, talkative girl she is at home at school, but one bridge at a time, folks.
Another area Claire is literally weak in is gross motor skills. She doesn't have much muscle tone or coordination. I think that's pretty common among kids with Asperger's. Every day during her therapy sessions at home, her tutors spend 10 minutes working on gross motor skills. Jessie introduced Claire to yoga, and Claire got a kick out of it. Maybe it was just the names of the exercises (downward dog, or something?). Anyway, I decided maybe I should look into yoga for the first time in my life. I always wrote it off as something for new age hippies and people from California (no offense, Jamie H--you know I love you and Bonnie). But we've all seen Madonna's arms, and Claire could use some of that muscle tone. So this morning I turned on Exercise TV and tried yoga. It's a good workout. If I can get Claire doing that regularly, she'll have Gollum arms in no time.
8 comments:
Even though you already told me about Claire at school, reading it made me cry. You are such a great mom!
Yay, yoga! Great for body and mind, I think. Xx
Funny, James' teacher said he doesn't talk much at school. When I take him to preschool he seems shy and hesitates to make his way across the classroom so that he can hang up his coat and back pack.
After conferences with his teacher and learning that he is so quiet, I decided to enlist James in a contest. Goal: "I want you to talk so much that your teacher asks you to stop." Hasn't happened yet, but I've learned he's starting to talk more.
You are a fantastic mom! Keep up the good work. I give you an A today.
One more thing: I just listened to the address from Sister Beck at BYU Women's Conference. I loved the description she used of the Lioness. This is you!
Charlotte - you always have been amazing and still are! I'm literally crying right now at the thought of what a strong and wonderful mom you are! And yes - yoga is amazing! I took it on myself a couple years ago and it's one of my favorite things to do! Hugs to you and your family!
I have no words of wisdom...only total admiration for you and love for you and your family. You're an amazing Mom Charlotte.
PS I read that!!!! I bet the yoga will be good for both you. And just so you know now I am trying meditation!!!
Wow. Just. . .wow, Charlotte. I don't think Claire could be blessed with a better family to help her along her path. And bring on the yoga! It's actually marvelous. But now that it's February, you probably already know that.
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