What the...

Why can't I put paragraphs in my blog posts lately? See below. Very annoying.

blah blah blah blah blah

Last I wrote, Claire had support at school three days a week: me on Mondays while Anne went to my neighbor's house, and Jessie (one of her three tutors) on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It wasn't enough. On Wednesdays and Fridays Claire spent most of her time at school zoned out, so we put Anne in the local Montessori pre-school on Mondays and Wednesdays so I could go to school with Claire both those days. On Fridays, Anne and I go to her class for ten minutes. During that time, Anne plays quietly in the back of the classroom (bless her!) playing with toys while I sit by Claire and let her earn as many stickers as she can in 10 minutes. To earn a sticker she: follows directions as well as her classmates, raises her hand to answer questions, and participates in group singing/counting, etc. After I leave, her teacher takes away a sticker whenever Claire is zoning out. If Claire comes home with three stickers, then she gets a reward. It's going well so far, exept it wears me out. Drum roll please....Claire is back on gluten!!! A wise woman (Catherine) suggested maybe we had re-introduced gluten too much too fast, and that could have been what caused the bloating. So, we tried again more slowly, and Claire did fine! Hurray! We can eat good things again! She's still off dairy, mostly: last weekend Anne secretly slipped her Reese's peanut butter cups and Claire belched continuously for the next four days. Dairy is much easier to live without than wheat, though, so we're not complaining. Anne is doing okay in pre-school. To quote one of her teachers, "She was made for Montessori." And for the first week or so, Anne loved it. But then the newness wore off. When I would pick her up those first few days, she would be sitting in isolation at a table eating her lunch while all the other kids sat with each other at the other tables. It was pretty sad. Then I guess the teachers noticed the horrified look on my face, and they started making the other kids leave room for her at their tables. I hoped she'd be happier after that, but she cries most mornings as Jake takes her. On the bright side, she seems like she's had fun by the time I pick her up, and one of the teachers said she's made a bosom friend. Damon took Jr. Jazz basketball last month (I think. The days and months all run together). Now he's taking soccer. And guess who got roped into being his soccer coach? Me, the person who didn't know there were no time-outs in soccer. The rec center lady who gave me this sob story about nobody else being able to coach was clearly lying: it's astonishing how many parents sit around and gab while I'm holding practice. Oh, well. I'm better at yelling at kids than anyone I know, so I might as well put my talents to use. Back to ABA program news: one of our tutors is going on a mission [I think her true mission should be helping our child], so we've got to hire a new one. College undergrads looking for work aren't hard to find, but it's a pain to have to train someone new. Not to be ungrateful. Claire has made great progress, and we're grateful to have found good people to help her. Time to sign off and see if the kiddos brushed teeth and used the potty so they can have a bedtime story.

Rare recorded dialogue between the Tooth Fairy and her Assistant

[Can't Damon and Anne just give me a nice normal smile?

He lost his top right front tooth. You might notice that the permanant tooth is already half-way in. Damon doesn't pull his teeth out. He let's them come out on they're own. That's how much he hates pain. Or maybe his lame Tooth Fairy doesn't give him enough incentive.]


Tooth Fairy: "How much to we pay for teeth? Fifty cents?"


Assitant: "I don't know. Should we give him a dollar?"

Tooth Fairy, after checking wallets: "We don't have a dollar."


Assistant: "I saw one in the other room."

Tooth Fairy: "That's his dollar. Your parents sent it to him."


Assistant: "So? He won't know the difference."

Tooth Fairy: "You want to give him his own dollar for his tooth."


Assistant: "Yeah. Why not?"


Tooth Fairy: "Well...we'll pay him back, so I guess it doesn't matter..."


Assitant: "Why would we pay him back? He'll never know."


He was kidding. Of course we'll pay him back. As soon as we get a dollar.

The world is too much with us...

and I can't decide if it's funny or disturbing. A week or two ago Anne woke up, beautified herself with a hat, bracelet, her favorite mismatched socks (with blue masking tape around one for extra beauty), and a washcloth tied around her leg. It was cute, so I got out the camera to take a picture, and she strikes a pose. She's three years old, people. And MY (I'm the person children sometimes mistake for a boy) daughter.

I've been letting the kids watch those old Scooby-Doo reruns: maybe Daphne is a bad influence. Or maybe it's the Kohl's ads: I didn't think she was studying the models because she always fixated on the jewelry pages, but maybe she was. I'll have to ban both.

Now check out this:

Unlike Claire and Damon, who only care about comfort, Anne doesn't wear things unless she likes the way they look. Even though we practically live in the arctic circle, she's been wearing purple water shoes because the hand-me-downs from Damon weren't 'beautiful enough.' So I finally decided I'd better take her shoe shopping. Naturally, the only shoes she was interested in were those ones up there, which, because they weren't already gaudy enough, also light up. Going anywhere with her is like walking next to a fireworks display.

going to school with Claire and experimenting with yoga

Last semester Claire had her tutor Joseph going to school with her 3 days a week. This semester, her tutors' class schedules have not been as accomadating. Jessie is able to go with her Tuesday and Thursday, and since our consultant (Steve) says Claire isn't ready to have less help at school, I go with her on Mondays while Anne goes to our neighbor's house to play.
Yesterday was my first day. Wow, was I depressed after the first half-hour. Claire acted like she was partially deaf or maybe on drugs. Apparently her classmates and teachers were used to it: her friend Cecily took her by the hand and took her where she was supposed to go (Claire almost never responded to instructions on her own) and the music teacher said, "Thanks, Cecily, for helping Claire." !!!!! Claire is perfectly capable of doing what she's asked to do--she does it all the time at home. I've got to read some books by people with Asperger's so I can understand what it is about being in large groups that shuts them down. Or maybe it's just Claire. I don't know. Does anyone know?! Tell me! Gah!
On top of that, Claire's personality was totally absent. At home she laughs at jokes and silliness all the time. At school, I didn't see a single smile. The teacher read this poem to the class:
I made myself a snowball
Just as perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me
I gave it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then, last night it ran away,
But first . . . .it wet the bed!

The other kids were cracking up and yelling out, "It didn't run away, it melted!" Claire stared straight ahead with a blank expression on her face. I was ready to cry.

After school we got in the van, picked up Anne, and went to the grocery store. And back came the Claire I know, laughing and talking...I read her that snowball poem at home, and she giggled. "Did the snowball really wet the bed?" I asked. "No, it melted," Claire said.
When we got home I remembered a suggestion Steve made at our workshop last week, and today Jessie put it in action: whenever Claire does what she's told to do at the same speed the other kids are doing it, she gets a sticker. If she earns 5 stickers in one day, she gets to go to the toy store after school and pick out a prize. Lo and behold, it worked! Here she is with her new toy, Squishy:
Now we increase the number of stickers she has to earn before she gets a prize until it gets to be a habit and she doesn't need rewards anymore. One thing that worries me is she doesn't have a tutor on Wednesdays and Fridays. We'll have to be even more blessed and lucky than we already are to get her to listen and obey on those days. What we need is a tutor with her every day at school...we'll see how things go, and if she's not progressing, we'll just have to find a tutor for those other two days.

I don't know how we'll get her to be the giggly, talkative girl she is at home at school, but one bridge at a time, folks.

Another area Claire is literally weak in is gross motor skills. She doesn't have much muscle tone or coordination. I think that's pretty common among kids with Asperger's. Every day during her therapy sessions at home, her tutors spend 10 minutes working on gross motor skills. Jessie introduced Claire to yoga, and Claire got a kick out of it. Maybe it was just the names of the exercises (downward dog, or something?). Anyway, I decided maybe I should look into yoga for the first time in my life. I always wrote it off as something for new age hippies and people from California (no offense, Jamie H--you know I love you and Bonnie). But we've all seen Madonna's arms, and Claire could use some of that muscle tone. So this morning I turned on Exercise TV and tried yoga. It's a good workout. If I can get Claire doing that regularly, she'll have Gollum arms in no time.

diet update

Anne, speaking to Claire about the gum they were chewing: "Mine has artificial colors in it, and so does yours. Mine isn't good for me."

Claire: "And neither is mine." But they chew it very happily.

Over the Christmas break we reintroduced gluten into Claire's diet. For the first few days, everything seemed fine, but toward the end of the week, Claire's stomach was pretty bloated. Her behavior seemed less stable, which might have been the gluten, but was probably just the less routine nature of the holidays.

So now Claire's back off gluten, her stomach looks better, and I'm just going to have to resign myself to a gluten-free lifestyle and fend off insanity as best I can. I don't know why gluten makes her bloated--her bowel movements were normal, and she never complained of a stomach ache...I wish we had a good DAN! (Defeat Autism Now!) doctor around here, but we don't, so we'll muddle through as best we can on our own.

We haven't reintroduced dairy, and probably never will, because we know it makes her constipated, regardless of how much fiber she eats. I am letting her have soy, and I'm letting her chew gum, hence the dialogue about artificial colors above. If you know of an all natural chewing gum that kids would like, let me know.

She's still on her supplement regimen: a HUGE thanks to Scott J. for the fish oil and probiotics he donates to the cause.

Happy New Year

Is there anything quite like hearing the angelic giggles of little girls "playing so well together!" downstairs?

Is there anything quite like finding the bathroom covered in water that didn't come from the sink and a Barbie in the toilet when you go down to see what's so funny? "But Mom," said Claire, "Rapunzel was only trying to get her shoes back," (which Anne flushed down a few months ago).

And that pink dress is sopping wet. Apparently swimming in the buff was an afterthought.